Hysterical Morbidity

"...Sometimes these are the only questions we're allowed to ask. Am I merely to wallow in just how much life is nasty, brutish and hilariously short? Am I never to go outside lest I be attacked by angry pigeons with nail guns and rabid bird flu? Is my car being broken into and are rabid cancer cells attacking my colon as I read this very sentence? Because, Christ on a pogo stick, some days it sure seems like it."

One of the reasons I don't watch news... the other being that I like to maintain a semblance of blissful ignorance and worldly nonchalance. These things can't intrude into my life if I refuse to acknowledge their existence, however this author has such a keen grasp of the little kernel of things. I laughed out loud when I read this bit and I think it probably lengthened my life by a nanoyear (and they do add up, ya know).

Eureka!

Not a fan of the new anime or any of the weird-ass cartoons out there these days, I am a purist. Warner Bros. all the way with the Martian, the Abominable Snowman and his "George", and Bugs. Today I ran across a transcript of my very favoritist Bugs, http://www.dosado.com/articles/bugs/index.txt

(you should hear me screeching with glee)

This isn't funny...

but it is. Just browsing my pharmacology/medicine/research reads this morning and ran across this title... "Evolving concepts in the pathogenesis of hairy-cell leukaemia"

No form of leukaemia or any other disease is particularly funny, but who can resist it when the scientific community stoops to using common phrases like "hairy-cell". Awesome imagery there.

2 Incarnations

Men come in two different variations at their most basic level. Forget all the drivel about how all they want is sex and a remote. The division I'm talking about runs at a different level: 1) those men in the know and 2) those not, which means those who have a true affinity for fine and sophisticated things and those who have a penchant for the mundane. Intrinsically there is not one superior to the other, after all it is a matter of choice. My issue is that they seem to occur in only one form or the other - rarely a pleasant mix of the two characteristics - and I've dated both types only to find that I become dissatisfied with the limited scope. After all, I have been known to swill beer on a bass boat and tip back Woodford's at the equestrian center. If I can encompass both, why can't he?? And if he can, please step up to the plate so I can assess your swing...

Thank You for Your Support

Weird-Ass Blogger

I figured I'd update my profile. 'Til now I never answered the tard questions that they propose in the profile and it was because they are tard questions. But today I thought I would belly up and show my smart-ass side and then blogger pulled a super-tard and only allowed 150 characters to answer the tard question. ACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So in retaliation I am posting my answer here because I know all of you have been in a veritable frenzy to see my ribald riposte to the scintillating question,

"Why is honeydew melon the money melon??"

Answer: I'm not much on the whole melon thing, as are most Southerners, however I have been told more often than not that I have nice melons, honeydew or otherwise, with which I suppose I could have at one time or another made some guiddas. Sadly now I am just a middle aged lady with a penchant not for melons.

(I told you it was tard...)

My Lovely Feature

Lookit, lookit lookit everyone!!! My very own spriggling water thingy in my very own rented backyard. Better watch out when I get a house of my own when I grow up!!!!

I spy with my little eye....

Click here for a wonderful and amazing bit of nature (make sure you have a hi-speed connection). I have been watching these little guys since they were still embryos. Occassionally Mom/Pop stop by and feed them up, but my how they have grown this last month. One has already established dominance (he was born a day earlier - you can tell by his feather growth) and eats first, gets preferential treatment and is much more eager than his sibling. Most of you will find these fellows to be rather gruesome on appearance, however, "yif and yonly yif" you are a bird person will you find these creatures darling. Regardless, this is a majesty that is slowly disappearing in America and for which very few, I fear, will mourn.

It's Waaaaavey...........

Not only the blog theme but the posts in it. If I was clever I would figure out how to make the post wave-y but I'm an ignoramus with HTML. All this to say that I am mentally flogging myself for not posting since before finals (?). One might think that with the reduced pressure after Spring semester, that I would be posting pictures (Adam's wedding, Ren Faire...) and writing my little grey matter out. There seem to be two issues at work here:

1) I feel that my content must be meaningful, if only to me, but hopefully to the hordes that stop by. Often I will happen upon a blog that is truly nothing but twitter and I wonder. Obviously my approach is not the only one out there when it comes to blogging (although, of course, the best), but why just fling blather out there if it has no relation to our world at large or has no meaningful content that may incite some other folks to cogitation. But I think I have competent things to write about...

- and -

2) Maybe I just want to relax - to go home and feed the flock, pop in an insane DVD and fall asleep while watching Peter Lorry leer at himself in a German mirror. Can I ever really relax with all this angst about blogging??

I sense some wine in my very near future.

Touched by Silly Things

No, you perverts... No. Read this article and your little bleak hearts will warm. Obviously for me this is particularly sweet in light of my flock. This morning MrNewburg (see previous post for picture) made first nice contact on his own. As I sat sipping my obnoxious morning yogurt frappe, Newbie scuttled down his cage and delicately moved to my shoulder. I pretended normalcy. He then undid my hair clip, (at which he is amazingly agile - rather like those guys who can unhook your bra by merely brushing their hand across your back), preened my left ear and straightened a few errant locks of hair. We communed for a few minutes and then he was back to his cage to ransack his new toy.

Obstinate animals that befriend us rekindle our ancestral/primitive instincts. And for a brief moment allow us to catch a glimpse of a simpler, less-polluted and more wholesome existence.

Found...GUILTY!

You would think I am Jewish I have so much guilt. If I don't post - GUILT. If I eat meat - GUILT. If I don't shave my legs for the pedicure lady - GUILT. Where did I get all this guilt? Why, after counseling, therapy and familial support, can't I shake this guilt-monkey? I read my daily affirmations, sometimes I even chant them to myself while driving. I try to practice "being in the moment" and letting history and forecasting be damned. Yet still, this lurking perverted guilt that stains my psyche. I know people who seemingly have no guilt. They amaze and disturb me. Guilt makes us humble, neurotic and human. I think we should have USDA recommended daily allowances for guilt. That way I could wake up, get my enormous quanitites of guilt quickly put away, and saunter saucily through the rest of the day. I might even find myself skipping, humming, chatting gaily with strangers.

Oooooo, the possibilities are endless...

Armchair Activism

I figure better to support my passions while lolling on my Gaiam exer-chair, than to not do it at all... So, in support of the Ocean Conservancy, celebrate Earth Day.

"Made Up" Makes it In

Browsing through my morning reads, I stopped at Nature to find this article on catfishes that can hunt prey on shore. Within the first couple of sentences, I was all a-giggle when I read that this erudite pubilcation had chosen to describe the catfish as having a "bendy neck". Well, now I've been saying "bendy-this" and "bendy-that" for years and now I can proudly use it in intelligent conversation.

Thanks, Nature!

A Clever Plan

Swiped from boingboing.net, this lovely use of odious chocolate is almost as funny and riveting as the infamous scientific peep studies. So many clever folks out there...

I'm a Sucker!!

Everybody has their weak-spot and I am no exception although I DO like to kid myself that I am exceptional. Anywho, animal stuff makes my heart squeeze up tight and my maternal instincts go on high alert. The mistreatment, abuse and neglect of animals, specifically those used for commercial purposes, is abominable in light of the gluttony, obesity and greed that this world thrives on. So, in my little way, I do what I think may contribute, and part of that is signing these little petitions. I don't know if it makes a hill of beans difference in general but it assuages my little mind to a certain degree.

All of this to say, if you get bent when you encounter chickens with amputated beaks, cows penned into muddy, feces invested feed lots, or dolphins entangled in the unkind drift nets of the Japanese, this may help you feel like you can help.